just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
