We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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