Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it hurts more in the daytime
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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