Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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