I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
it's great music for shaving your balls
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
