I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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