I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
