Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize