Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
