Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
