I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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