i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
