Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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