What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
