I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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