I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
