Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
