is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
