i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
