Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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