That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
