Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
