OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
