we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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