I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
