taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I love you. Go after that dick
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
