My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
