If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
