haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
PANTIES FOUND
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