He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
