oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
