i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
