Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
