I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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