I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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