Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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