used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
