Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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