Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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