This girl is more easily done than said...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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