Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
