The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
