And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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