I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
