he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
bring money and cleavage
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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