with your own penis?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
