I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
