You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
