i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
