what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
