Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
