OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
