Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
