I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize