At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i dont even know how to be here
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Randomize
