I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
