I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize