puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I know her cup size but not her name....
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